Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
