she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
