Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
