thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
