Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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