It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
