the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
