this just has baby written all over it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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