i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
