I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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