Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
