So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
