If that was your dad, he is hot
this boner is exhausting
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
