i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
