I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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