That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
