My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
