just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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