i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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