i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
