Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
