wakey wakey hands off snakey
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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