What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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