Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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