The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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