I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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