you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
