You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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