dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
