whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
