then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
