She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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