i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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