Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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