Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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