If that was your dad, he is hot
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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