Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
