Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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