i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
