worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
