I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My feet surprised me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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