I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
