i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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