dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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