Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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