I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
