she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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