Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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