He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
