I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
