dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
